Live Your Life (2010)

As I was updating my Facebook page which I haven't changed since early 2009, I was looking through how the old Courtney used to be.  Granted I had much ratchetivity about myself including what I decided was appropriate to define myself by and even how I typed, adding extra letters to words and whatnot.  But I came across a poem I had wrote and despite my slightly too hood ways I realized my heart was still in the same place.  So despite the mess I seemed to act like it didn't define who I really was. Which sums up the purpose of this last paragraph -- what you post, the way you type, and the folkways we break don't define who we really are.  So next time you're judging someone just based off of what they post on a social network, realize that everything you post isn't always a direct reflection of you.  But that doesn't mean be completely reckless -- people will judge anyway. Sucks but we can only change society one person at a time.

But here goes that poem:

Life is way too short to be bulllshiting around
Live your life with a smile, never a frown
Live with love in your heart and happiness in your mind
Cause life is lovely and death is never kind

Young man died yesterday, gunshot to the head
He died that night but souls were also dead
Tears filling the canal surrounding my soul
You'll be here one minute and the next you'll be gone

9 year old girl died of AIDS yesterday
You'd never think of a child dying that way
Lived with God in her heart but still had to go
You could leave this world any time, you'll never know

This lady lived life with a burning inferno beating in her chest
Had a form of cancer living in her breast
Cried straight for a week, misery on her mind
But learned to live life to the the fullest cause death is never kind

So many of us take life for granted . . .

Rest in Peace to all my Trayvons, my Shelias, my Hakeems, my Jaelas, my God's angels . .

July.

Vacant 'I love you's
'I miss you's full of misread emotion

I miss you. I love you. I miss you. I love you.
I'm over you.

Walls - Random Thought 05/24/2013

Walls.

We build them up to block the pain and harm that we no longer want to experience.  We use them to protect us from all that unwanted hurt that people seem to feel we rightfully deserve.  But what about when those same walls start to block out happiness and joy.  What do we do when those walls are so high that we can't distinguish the difference between genuine care and false love because we won't even allow ourselves to peek over and even take a glance?

Surely these walls can protect us from everything we fear but they can also stop us from obtaining everything we've ever desired.

Stop and . . . THINK *gasp*

Sometimes I really wish I didn't think so much.

I'm serious lbs! I think extremely too hard about everything.  What people say, lyrics to songs, tragedies, what people wear, evverrryytthinngggg!

I just can't help it.  I like to dissect every single thing until I get to the origin of where it could have possible come from.

 But . . . *scratches head*

Maybe there's nothing wrong with that.  Maybe more people should think deeper on everything that happens around them.

So here's the challenge.

I want you to think.  Think about what people around you are doing and think about what YOU'RE doing.  I swear this will only help . . . or make you a bit paranoid lol.

And I Am Too Guilty *hangs head*

So today, just a few minutes ago actually, I was scrolling through my Twitter news feed and someone mentioned K. Michelle.  Me, being the nosey person I am went to her page and I just started shaking my head when I looked at her AVI. It was a picture of her of course, but it appeared that she had on no bottoms at all.

Why do women have to wear little to no clothing to feel beautiful?

And as I thought about why in the hell would she be posed like this, I thought about why do I find myself doing the same exact thing.  When I go out I look for the outfit that looks greatest on my curves regardless of how much material the outfit actually consists of.

Why do I feel like it's OKAY to leave out the house barely dressed?

Now at this point I could blame the actresses and vixens who grace the covers of magazines in their lingerie grasping the attention of every man that glances.  Because lets admit it, all of our favorite women are guilty of it, Rihanna and Nicki and Ciara and even Beyonce *gasp*

But that's not who to blame.  I blame myself.  I mean how long is it going to take for me to realize how I dress is how I portray myself.  I'm not portraying anyone else.

It's easy to identify the problem, now I must focus on the solution.

4 Day Diet by Ian Smith

Okay so I know I was supposed to be doing the 6 week body makeover but over the past weekend I went home to Chicago to help my mom run her literary cafe at the Black Women's Expo.  During this time Dr. Ian Smith from The Biggest Loser came to do a signing at the cafe and I decided to purchase his 4 day diet book.  Now I'll talk about Dr. Smith later in this post.  But I read the book in like one day and it was very influential to me.  It was very detailed and encouraging unlike any online diet that I've attempted to follow.  I suggest that everyone try this diet because it touches on a lot of great points and shares a lot of needed knowledge.

This is not a 4 day diet everyone.  There are 7 phases of this diet and each phase is 4 days.  So in total that a month of dieting, 28 days.  There's different food almost everyday and it's fairly inexpensive.  I needed a diet that I wouldn't get bored doing.

So in the book he had a chapter about a reward system and I wanted to share with you all what rewards I would give myself.  These rewards are meant to push you and make you want to succeed so it has to be stuff you really want.  If you don't really want it then you won't work hard.

4 pounds - New shoes
8 pounds - Lipstick
12 pounds - Pedi and Mani
16 pounds - More New Shoes
20 pounds - Designerrrr Day
24 pounds - BIKINI
28 pounds - New Phone

Okay so everyone should understand what each reward is except maybe designerrr day.  That means that I get to go thrifting and make as many pair of shorts that I want.  I love love love making highwaisted shorts and 20 lbs down I think I'll deserve it.  And by new phone I mean I'll finally get my screen replaced on my iPhone.

During this period of time I'm not going to be purchasing clothes or shoes because when it is time to make those oh-so-lovely summer purchases I want it to be for my better body.

Oh yeah before I leave you I wanted to talk about meeting Dr. Ian Smith.  Plainly, he was rude.  He had a fake smile and acted as if he didn't want to be there.  I hate when "celebrities" act like that.  I mean without us you wouldn't be much of anything except a super fit guy.  Below is a picture of us. I look a fool but believe me everyone that smile was fake as hell.  Hopefully he gets it together.

And if there are any requests I don't mind sending the menus to you.  I understand some people don't have the funds to purchase the book so I don't mind helping out.

I'll be back tomorrow when I start phase 1 - Induction and break down my starting weight and stuff.

Until then, much love. Continuing this path to glamour.

6 Week Body Makeover - Start!

Okay I'm officially starting over today.  I weighed myself and I'm 156.2 pounds. Ughhh! But it's okay I'm about to succeed and get that number down! Right at the moment I'm drinking a fruit smoothie for breakfast. Today I'll be testing out my coconut oil as well because I'm hitting the gym.

I'm uploading a few pics so you all can kind of see what my body looks like.  I'll upload some real before photos either later tonight or tomorrow.

Much success,
Courtney