Vlogging

Hello all,

So I forgot to tell you all some other news.  I'm going to add a vlogging aspect to the blog for some sections as well.  Like I have a mini haul coming up & I'll be vlogging that for you all!!! Is anyone as excited as I am for this? Lol probably not.  The only downside is I'll be using my shitty webcam until I can afford a better camera.  So I won't be on the level as the almighty Youtube gurus but I will still be me :-) if that makes it any better.  I'm going to post the link to my Youtube channel which should be empty but it'll be filling up soon.

I'll also let you all see my warm, cute outfit of the day.  It's nothing special at all seeing as I got ready in like 30 minutes this morning.  This cold got me feeling some type of way lol.  Honestly I would like to punch whoever created the snooze button because it is indeed my guilty pleasure . . . .

But here's the link people . . . https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCrOZ2smAZg63EGRLBzH4bRA/

And a few photos before I leave you :-)

Jeans; DIY project from my highschool days, I'm now in my third year of college lol.

Crop sweater; Forever 21

Belt; very old (that's all I can say)

Boots; Qupid - I got them from zooshoo.com

Yes I am a bathroom model lol ;-)

New Start

Greetings everyone,

I know it's been a loonnnggg time since I've last reached out to everyone on here.  I think I was just in a stage of funk for a while.  But as we all should know, being in such negative times should bring tons of positivity once they're over.  And I have had so many positive ideas spring from within myself in the last month or two.

Firstly, I've made a promise to my baby (my blog), myself, and all of you that I will blog everyday.  Yes I said it, EVERYDAY.  Lol now I know that's hard to believe by looking at the gaps in the timeline but I've realized that when you really love something you will make time for it.  And there's an unbreakable bond between me, my baby, and my readers.  So that's that . . . but there's more.

Fashion!!!! I will focusing on fashion more in my blog as well with haul threads & occasional outfit of the day posts.  What can I say? I love fashion & all it has to offer.  I will be starting this journey with a pretty shitty camera though so please don't judge me.  And this new part will make sure I stay on top of my posting game.

Also, I'm starting an online boutique with my cousin Kaprice soon.  We've named it Couture Kings, which I loveee.  So everyone be on the look out for that.  And I'll be updating everyone with that too as we make these steps to entrepreneurship.  Come on black women, lets empower each other!

Lastly, I'm on this big health kick right now because I really want to slim down a bit more.  So there'l probably be some exercise or healthy eating posts mixed up in here as well as me complaining lbs.  I hate dieting & exercising but if I don't I'll be as big as a house lol. I just weighed myself yesterday and I'm a whooping 153 lbs.  I guess I carry it well but I'm ready to tone everything up so I can model some of my own clothes :-)

But to leave you all, I'll show some pictures of me celebrating my New Year's Eve.  I hope this year is as great for everyone as I'm OWNING it to be for me.  I love you all.  And don't forget to say a prayer for all of those without homes in this frigid weather outside.  May they find the warmth & shelter that need.

Me on New Years Eve

Me and my best friend Scarlett

Not New Years Eve but a closer look at my new blue hair!

Visible Invisibility

I'm angry
I'm pissed
I'm mad at the fact I'm judged by people who know nothing about me
I'm judged only by what people hear or what they make themselves see
I'm unsatisfied with what and who society wants me to be
Or better yet what those who detest society want me to believe

"Wipe off that makeup, take out that weave,
That superficial mess won't make you a queen"
The hypocrisy of those want to better everyone
But change everyone
Because they won't understand everyone
Because we aren't ONE

I am different
You are different
And those who can comprehend that difference
have the real vision

Since when did foundation, mascara, and a little concealer
make someone less than a woman & not realer
than the woman natural and perm-free
but only praised when her locks don't look nappy
A hair extension won't determine if I'll go to hell,
hold my man down in jail,
graduate from Yale,
or simply how I smell.

My push up bra should not offend you
Crop tops, tight jeans, and lipstick will all continue
Sorry but this is the real me, who is the real you?

I will not tolerate bigotry, gender stratification, and forced stereotypes.

Lavender Skies

After being pushed down so much & being told how inadequate she was in terms of beauty, the ugly duckling turned into a beautiful swan.

But psychologically the swan was already damaged.  She had no mother or father to tell her how pretty she was as a child, she had no partner to ever confess his appreciation of her beauty without wanting something in return, and she had no true friend who helped pick her up from the dark trenches of her sub conscious.

Forever that swan will feel inadequate.  She will receive less than what she deserves.  She will become bitter.
Others will fawn over her beauty, but take advantage of her insecurities.  Her insecurities will stick to her as the shadows that follow her at night.  And even when those shadows leave, her insecurities will tangle themselves within the roots of her hair & penetrate the being of her soul, shining for all to see.

Mothers and fathers. Tell your daughters they are beautiful randomly.  They will need it.
Men. Cherish the women you love and never be shy to express your appreciation for all that they are. They will need it.
Friends. You must be the hero when all other saviors have failed.  They will need it.

Love & Relationships 099

There is nothing like being completely 100 with someone and KNOWING that they love you regardless.  You don't have to worry about if they're dogging you to their guys because without a doubt they would never place you on such a low level in their life.  To have someone who wants to talk to you just as much as you want to talk to them is beyond amazing.  Someone who doesn't make you settle for one word responses and ambiguous sayings via text because they'd rather pick up the phone and talk to you is just beautiful.

To have someone who is not scared to break down all their walls and dive head first into loving you is truly a gift from God.  Arguments, disagreements, and unconscious attitudes are all parts of relationships and to have someone willing to work through them instead of throwing in the towel is more than anyone could ask for.

Don't be fooled by all your dead end relationships because I promise true and pure love is waiting for each and every one of us.  You're are going to run into plenty of dogs and even be a dog every once in a while yourself but don't settle.  Never lower your standards because you'll end up stuck.  Stuck with someone who's half loving you but you're just so scared to get back out there because of all the previous heart breakers you've encountered.

THIS IS NOT ONLY FOR THE LADIES. There are so many men who go through it as well. Just because you carry a handbag and cry while watching The Titanic doesn't make you exempt from being a dog.

But all I want to say is to be patient and to love others as you'd want to be loved regardless of if you'd want to be with them in the long run.

Closure Part 2

How could you take away the one person I care about?
How could you . . . bitch?
Rhyming words can't explain my disgust
Karma can't settle this fucking dust
Bullets can't soothe my soul
Seeing you suffer isn't even my goal
I want pain ... so quick and deep
I want yells drawn out and loud
I want you to feel my pain
But I'm done...

My fucking road dog.  Partner in crime.
Just fuck me over, my heart did the time
I could be the first person you talk to in the morning and the last at night
But STILL you push me to the left; that shit not right
Lying about simple shit
You thought I was a simple bitch?
And although I'll always love you . . I'm done!

So where have I gone?
Honestly nowhere.
I've suppressed emotions and learned not to care
Changed my body, changed my hair
Sweet Courtney is listening and partly still here
But the new girl is in control and I have no plans of going anywhere

Closure Pt. 1

I'm so tired of spilling tears of hate
Tired of bashing down the doors of fate
My life is now destructing at an incredible rate

Where the hell have I gone?
To understand that -- it starts with where I've been
I swear I've been through so much shit with them

How could you like me so much but lie so much?
How could the devil have such a tender touch?
How could you work so hard just to give it all up?
Why did I finally stop giving a fuck?

All I can ask is to stop calling me with the lies
Don't speak that shit while looking into my eyes
Save your apologies and temporary goodbyes
I'll allow you to be the man and keep your pride
Because I'm done

To be continued . . . .