A Couple Million Reasons Why

I feel like that girl.  The one from that super fucked up Netflix show.  Shit I can't remember her name.  But she was genius.  The girl with the tapes.  13 if I'm not mistaken except I heard a part two came out that was even more fucked up which means there were probably an even longer list of fucked up people. 

I feel like her but I'm not her.  I'm not going to kill myself.  I don't plan on taking that route out.  But I did like some stops she made on her destination.  The tapes.  Total bad ass.  When someone commits suicide, every single time there's a monster or a dozen that made them feel that was the only option.  And people realize that, it's not rocket science.  We just live in a world where no one gives a fuck.

Well.

I'm starting my tapes per say, but they won't be tapes.  They'll be little works of art I publish on my blog titled to the deviant who killed the good part of me.  I've put the first one up.  The most obvious.  The fucktard my mother decided to open her legs to.  Ladies we have to do better with the choices we choose to put inside of us.  I mean especially if you don't want to create children who are internally fucked up.

I hope you all enjoy. Who knows.  Your post might be the next one up ;-)

Byron

To you,

The one man who was suppose to love me doesn't.  And he never will.

I just don't understand how you can have other kids and love them and be there for them and you can't do the same for me.  Why would you have a child when you have no intention of loving them? Why?  You just don't care about how much you've screwed up their life huh?

I'm just suppose to put on this tough ass exterior and act like I don't care huh? I'm suppose to act like I'm good without a father.  I'm suppose to act like I'm better off without you.  I'm suppose to act like you not being there is only gonna make me stronger.

I wanted a father so bad.  I just wanted someone who loved me and cherished me.  I wanted that daddy's little girl bond but you stole that from me.  If you had no intention of being there and loving me why did you choose to create me?

Now I'm fucked up.  Can't trust a man to save my life, but I mean they all prove to be as worthless and cruel as you.

I just don't know where to go from here.  I'm suppose to love myself but I can only love half of me because I know the other half is made from you.

Good Vibes Help the Entire Community Thrive

I believe energy is transferable. I believe if you want to send strength and happiness to someone else you can. But the only way you can do that is if you have good, positive energy. You can also transfer negative energy, but nobody wants that. 

To have positive energy doesn't mean that all of your days are absolutely good. It doesn't mean that bad stuff doesn't happen to you. It's more about how you handle the bad stuff. It means that you find the good in the day and you live based off of that. And once you find a way to start living like that everyday you will exude positivity. 

To conclude, when we say we are sending strength and happiness to someone else, I find that to be absolutely true. Not just a figure of speech. It's something that we all posses the power to do. So keep your energy positive and your spirits high because it won't only change your life but also others around you. 

If you don't have anything nice to say …

I know your parents have probably drummed the phrase, "if you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say nothing at all," into your head as a child and if not, yay you lol. 

That statement is true. You should not use your words to hurt others. Use them to show the beauty in others as well as your environment. Buttttt I must say I also don't agree with the second half. Don't say nothing at all? How much fun is that?? 

Lol but no. Still do not badger others will your words. On the other hand, it is super unhealthy to keep your frustration and anger inside. It will do nothing but poison your life. It will cloud your thoughts and shape you into someone you do not want to be. So no, I am not now saying it's okay to spew hate at others. But I have found a solution to that comes to a happy median. 

If you don't have anything nice to say, write it down.  Specifically, write a letter. Write out all the bad things. All the horrible details and the crushed feelings you possess. Tell her how much of a fake ass bitch she is or how he can't be a man to save his damn life. Get it all out. Four page letters are just fine, if Aaliyah can do it, you can too. Just let your heart take control. It can be mean, nasty, or straight up cruel. 

 Read it. Over and over until all that negative energy is absorbed into the paper. Cry. Get mad again. Do what you need to do to get YOUR closure. 

And after you're done, throw it away. Throw away all that negativity and that hurt. Throw it away and let it go. Now I know you didn't think I was going to let you mail it. That's not eliminating drama and stress, that's what you call causing more. 

Personally, I can assure you this works. I've written letters to family members, people who I considered friends, and a few miscellaneous others. If it doesn't work for you, you didn't write enough. Yes, that can be a problem. Write it ALL out. Do not save any of that negativity. Your body doesn't want it or need it. 

Do not save the letter. Throw it away. 

Detox your body. Detox your mind. Detox your life. 

5 Tips to Get to the Body You Want & Deserve

Now this is not a post to help jump start your new diet or to help you lose a lot of weight in just a little bit of time.  These are just some simple tips to help you start living a healthier lifestyle that incorporates healthy eating and routine exercise.  I have always had complications with my weight.  Its always been so easy to lose 5 pounds really quick, but pushing past that is always the complicated part.

Now I do want to clarify I am no doctor, but I am human.  I do have the typical weight troubles of a most Americans.  I have succeeded in losing a lot of weight and keeping it off for more than a month. Now after a year is when I started messing up lmao but I'm much more grounded and focused now than I was back then..

Okay so are you ready? Seriously, are you?

1. Find you a reliable workout partner.  You need someone who is just as thirsty to be in shape as you.  For beginners, the best partner is going to be someone who already has a set routine.  That way you have a great foundation and if you just so happen to be a shitty workout partner, they're not suffering also.  Getting serious about being healthy is not just something you wake up and do, it's something you prepare for because it's typically not something we all routinely do.  It's new.  Like all new things, we have to make it habit, it won't mysteriously become one.

2.Write it down, post it, and make sure you see it everyday.  On average we give up working out 1 month after we've started.  Either we're not seeing the results we want, we're tired and other things are coming up, or you've just completely lost motivation.  Do yourself a favor before you even start working out.  Write down the reason you're working out with your starting weight and measurements.  Post it somewhere you'll see it everyday -- bathroom mirror, car dashboard, or even in the refrigerator.   Make sure you are reading this everyday.  You can do this and sometimes you need that reminder from yourself.

3. Simple: up your water intake.  Water flushes out 90% of toxins in our body.  If you simply drank more water without changing anything else, you will lose weight and also clear up your complexion on top of other things. Water is that cheap, all natural detox drink that you need to be drinking.  Now I'm not saying go from two cups of water to eight cups immediately.  But start substituting water for those other drinks you enjoy slowly and watch the changes your body makes.  It's gradual but it's one of those differences you can see and feel.  

4. You notice I have a picture for every tip I've posted? Well honey, I have dozens of pictures in my phone, on my page, and in my home.  Whether it's a quote or a picture of a fitness model, I have motivation everywhere.  The great thing about being human, we don't only self motivate, we get motivation from so many other sources.  Find some great quotes and tape them on your wall.  Make your background someone with an amazing body who also has a body type like yours.  This is the fun part about getting healthy.

5. Stay conscious.  This is not something that happens overnight.  Getting what you want and deserve never is easy.  It always takes some time.  You just have to stay dedicated and work at it.  Giving up is the worse thing you can do, seriously.  One simple suggestion: take your measurements and weigh yourself less.  Measurements show more progress than the scale ever will, remember that.  Know that you have reason and meaning for doing this and stay focused.  In a time where being conscious is a must, keep your consciousness alive with this as well.  

That's all I have for you this time.  One love.

So far I've hit my one month anniversary of eating no pork.  I must say I miss bacon, but I'm loving the way my body feels even more.  I will keep you all updated and I hope you do the same.

Fall Fashion Part 2

Fall Fashion Part 2 by courtney-coco-chanel-woods featuring black glasses

Topshop fish tank
$9.26 - topshop.com

Slim fit blazer
choies.com

Black pencil skirt
$305 - jades24.com

Chinese Laundry peep toe booties
lulus.com

Alice Olivia clutch
aliceandolivia.com

Repossi knuckle ring
$5,630 - ssense.com

Handcrafted jewelry
kewelco.com

Topshop bracelet watch
$110 - topshop.com

Sole Society collar necklace
solesociety.com

Smoke & Mirrors black glasses
shop.harpersbazaar.com

Casetify iphone case
casetify.com

Ilia brown lipstick
ahalife.com

Summer nail polish
violetgrey.com

Stuck

Hello there,

This is a piece I wrote a couple of weeks back when I was in a really bad place. Fast forward to present day, things are much better. Life just has its way of kicking your ass sometimes, but like I always say keep the faith. Whether it be in God, yourself, or another entity. Keep faith in something, it keeps you holding on even when you feel you have nothing to hold on to. 

Stuck

Is it possible to have writers block on your life?

You have the answers in front of you 

But the timings not right

You're ready to take charge and make moves

But your body's all bark and no bite

Is it possible to just be stuck in one place 

You know what you need to do

But your mind and body just won't correlate 

It's 6am and I'm up writing for the first time in months

I can honestly say since September I've been a lil fucked up

I've been mad, angry, real pissed off

I've been crying, breaking shit, punching walls

It's not so much the fact my number 1 gone for a while

More so the way mfs treat you when you down

She broke her back for people, me, I won't even crack a knuckle

And I'm so so serious, no laughs or chuckles

I should go 'Super Bitch' and start pointing mfs out

But I'm gone remain a lady, posted with the fuck you smile

Remember you reap what you sow and karma ALWAYS comes back around

It's 6 in the morning 

I haven't wrote in months 

I've been avoiding my emotions 

Rolling my problems in blunts

Inhaling the bullshit and getting fucked up

It's 6 in the morning and all I want to do is roll up

I guess that's better than rolling out cause shit's kinda tough

It's 6 in the morning and I've been sleeping on someone's couch for a month

SEE … those are the problems I roll in my blunts 

Roll. Tuck. Lick. Get high. 

Reality. Gone. Clouds. Sky. 

I feel like I could have definitely expanded but it was really 6am and I more than likely had work in 3 hours. It was the first time in years where the urge to write woke me out of my sleep. 

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